Category Archives: Uncategorized

You want (it) to float, don’t you?

I’m on a horror kick after seeing It yesterday. I didn’t find it particularly scary–although in its defense I am hard to scare these days, since 20ish years of consuming horror media has desensitized me to a lot of scary stuff.

But I did like it, for the most part, and there was enough of a taste of true scare to it that now I’m craving more. Continue reading


The inexpressible (period) orgasm

I’ve decided that orgasms are impossible describe. I mean, really describe, without resorting to metaphor. To fully capture in words not just the physical aspects like muscle contractions, but how fucking good it feels to just close your eyes and come. Continue reading

Depression, demoralization

I haven’t written in months. Not just in this blog, which is still in its infancy and probably permanently impaired from the ages of neglect, but all types. I try, occasionally, to craft sentences in a Word document, but they go nowhere. There’s no heart in them, and they wither.

I’m depressed, obviously, but it’s a deeper sort of depression than I’ve encountered before. A lot of my illusions have been shattered, my understanding of myself and my goals drowned and left out to dry.

A year and a half ago, I got a job. A copywriting job. A bad job, but bad in a way that’s hard to describe. Continue reading

Musings on social anxiety

The thing that I’ve found about social anxiety is that it always comes back. Like dust. You can clean and sweep, but over time new dust will always settle on your once-clean coffee table or the nooks and crannies on your bookshelves. It’s the natural order of things.

I’ve done traditional talk therapy, art therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, exposure therapy. Six therapists in three different states, plus an assortment of medications. It’s done a lot of good. I can function more or less as a “normal” person now. Continue reading

Harry Potter Characters as…Sex Toys?

After I wrote my last blog post—the one where I called myself the Horace Slughorn of sex toys—I was hit by a wonderful kernel of an idea. It was influenced, no doubt, by the release of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, by the fact that my partner’s and my wedding rings are Hogwarts House–themed (mine Slytherin, hers Ravenclaw), and by the fact that my love for those books is so strong it’s permanently inked on my skin in two places.

I wondered: If the characters of Harry Potter were sex toys, what would they be?

Of course I had to answer that question, using some of the toys from my collection. Continue reading

On Thanksgiving, family, and belonging


Like last year and the year before, I spend Thanksgiving with only my partner (who I’ll call K) and our two pets. I can’t actually remember the last time I traveled on or before Thanksgiving Day to spend it with my family. In previous years K has worked in retail, and although “She has to work Black Friday and I’m not coming without her” isn’t the most satisfying excuse for my father and stepmother (who see K as some sort of not-quite-family hybrid; who, even with a ring on both our fingers, will still probably never see her on the same level as my sister’s husband or brother’s wife), it’s at least an excuse they accept.

This year, my excuse is “It’s her birthday and her family is coming,” which is partly true. Her birthday is the day before Thanksgiving and her family did visit, albeit they left before Thanksgiving Day.

So it is just me, my partner, and our two pets. Continue reading